A New Year: 2008

With each new year, most people ponder "resolutions," what things they would like to accomplish, and perhaps how they can better themselves in the upcoming year (both physically and financially). However, for the past two "New Years" my mind has dwelt primarily on what will be missed in the coming year, and it has become a discouraging time, rather than one of excitement, as it once was. The only encouragement I can find is in asking God, "Will this be the year when Jesus comes back?" Now that's exciting!

As I think of all the special days this year that will be spent without Todd: our birthdays, our 20th wedding anniversary, holidays, Katrina's Driver's Ed class, Nate's SAT test, the close of Abe's first year of college....and many more, my heart feels again broken and discouraged. I cry. I hate the thought of all these special times not being shared with Todd. It makes me feel so lonely and lost.

But then, today, I was remembering all the many times God had supernaturally provided for us in 2007. I remember all the times God felt close, and I felt His loving care for us in 2007. I remember all the many praying friends in 2007. God is good.

So, what is in store for 2008? Will Jesus come back? If so, I pray I don't miss any opportunities to show other's His love. I pray that I will be found faithful to Him this year. I pray our children will grow to love Him more. There have been several godly men and women who have told me that I need to keep moving forward, no matter how much it hurts to do so without Todd beside me. I need to seek what God has for me and for our family in 2008. I don't like pain. I don't like to cry. I don't like the feeling of loneliness I am feeling every time I try to move forward, but I do realize that these things are part of the moving. As much as it hurts, as lonely as it feels, I must go forward, and by God's grace, we will.

Thank you for your prayers.