Sunday, January 17, 2010

Winter is now 11 years old!

Our last birthday celebration for Winter with Daddy was when she turned six years old.

It's hard to believe she turned 11 last week. Birthday celebrations are still difficult without Dad, but this one was multiplied for several reasons. First, Winter is a very special kid, being born with infant acid reflux which caused sleep apnea, she would frequently turn blue and we never knew how long God would allow us to have her. (see Weathering Winter for more details) Todd went through those scary, long nights and difficult days, right beside me. He was the only one who understood how very precious each birthday celebration was with Winter. I felt lonely without him here with us.

Then, we decided to take Winter to ChuckECheese with her friend, and then to the archery club. These were two of Todd's favorite places to go. He loved taking the kids to Chuck E Cheese for bday celebrations. He also loved hanging out at the archery club watching Abe shoot for the club there. We went to both places.

Praise the Lord, the kids had a great time, and I made it successfully with minimal tears. Sure, we missed Todd very much, talked about him a lot, but God gave a peace and provided the strength I needed to have fun with the kids and even smile a bit.

I long to see Jesus face to face and to be reunited with my very much loved one. I pray the day is near, but until that I have to keep singing....have to keep praising His name!

Oh, and Happy Birthday to our precious Winter Hope!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Where was this song 5 years ago?

One of the dearest and most precious friends I have used to tell me in my darkest days when Todd was sick and in the days after he went to heaven, that I need to learn how to "climb up in God's Lap, and just rest, feeling His love..." She would also constantly be reminding me to keep praising God and keep praying, even when I didn't want to or feel like I could. I found the times when I would climb up in God's lap to be the most comforting and the most refreshing times of my life. It was a quiet place, a place close to Him, but where I was totally numb...I couldn't feel anything, just 'In His Lap!" ...what precious words.

Anyway, I never heard this song until my daughter asked for the Undone CD from Mercy Me. It brought back many memories, this time good ones, even when my heart was breaking and broken!

Thank you, God, for always being there. I love you so much!

Monday, January 4, 2010

I have some really GREAT kids!

I'm so proud of my kids....every single one of them! But my oldest four astound me with their wisdom and encouragement. I only would share my very deepest thoughts and feelings with Todd. It has been so difficult with no one to share these things with, and gradually I have been going to my older children for advice or their thoughts on some things that I was struggling with. Yesterday, after a sermon that was a bit confusing for me, my children told me this:

Mom, you used to tell us that Daddy was your rock and almost everything you did, you did for him, but when he died, God was showing you that God needed to be your Rock and one and only. Your entire foundation was broken when Daddy died, and now you are re-building that foundation. It takes time to build a new foundation, but you are, and you're doing well. Just keep making God your "new" foundation and make Him the center of everything. That way, you know you can't go wrong.

Coming from my children, this meant more to me than anything. I thank God for my kids. I praise Him for their wisdom. I pray that they, too, will make God their foundation in life. God will always be here. God will never leave. God is solid, like a Rock. God doesn't change. What better foundation could we have for our lives?

I love my kids.