Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Blessings! Blessings!! Blessings!!!

Not sure where to start.  Our Heavenly Father has been so good and so gracious and has answered so many prayers today. 

The day didn't start well.  I was discouraged not being able to do much without getting short of breath (STILL!!), and Winter seemed discouraged from not getting done as much school work as she wanted (and she thought she needed) to get done without pain in her shoulder muscles.  With Winter, when I say "pain" I mean really, bad, aching, nagging pain that does not let her concentrate on anything else other than the pain!  She's off of her pain medication now, but the tylenol does not seem to be helping. 

So I put a call into Winter's surgeon at the hospital.  I had an appointment scheduled as a follow-up from being hospitalized today.

BLESSING:  I finally convinced Winter to rest!
BLESSING:  Winter's school counselor called me back this morning and said she is eligible for a temporary IDEA program!  This is for students with disabilities, and it is a special plan developed by her teachers in association with her doctors recommendations, in order for Winter not to fall behind in her schoolwork!  Praise Father!  What a HUGE blessing this was to hear!
BLESSING:  My doctor said I could eat fudge-sickles again! 
BLESSING:  My doctor said my blood sugar was fine now and to monitor my blood pressure, but he was pretty sure it was from being hospitalized and the massive doses of steroids they had me on.  He was pleased with the progress and agreed with everything the drs at the hospital said.  So, keep moving forward!  Slow, but sure.  Father is too good!
BLESSING:  Winter's dr called back and said children who had the kind of surgery Winter had would not even be back in school yet!  They said sometimes they would do half days and some even tutored for just an hour a day.  Dr definitely wants her to slow down.  She is way over-pushing herself.  They will talk about possible physical therapy for her shoulders to strengthen faster, but that's not for two more weeks or so.  I feel so much better about telling her not to do her school work (for now!).

OK, long enough for this evening.  Many thanks to anyone who is reading and/or praying and/or thinking of us!  Father is good....always!!!

Monday, September 16, 2013

View from a Hospital Bed

I have not been hospitalized since we had our last child, Toby Faith, in October of 2003.  Last week, this was my view.

 ugh.  And right outside the door in the hallway, what picture do they hang?  One for torture! 

I have no complaints.  I'm home.  I love home.  I bet some of you are wondering why in the world I was in the hospital, I mean, a fit, healthy, young lady like myself, right?  No, it was not a mental hospital, although sometimes I wonder if that kind of place would have been better for me.  Maybe one day...

But I digress.  The last few weeks my asthma had been bothering me.  Like normal, I ignored it until I had trouble breathing after just walking down the hall.  My doctor told me to go to the ER last Tuesday.  With no insurance, however, I decided it would be more wise and financially stable to stay at home.  It wasn't.  On Wednesday I was privileged to watch my adorable 2 year old nephew and continue to care for Winter from her back surgery.  That wasn't good for the asthma, which flared so badly that I could barely do anything without coughing for a long time.  Wednesday night was not fun.  So Thursday (the 12th) I told the kids I was going to the ER.  The next thing I knew, they had admitted me with "acute asthma" and "upper respiratory infection."  I was horrified that they would do that to me, having all the responsibility at home!  I have six children, one just recovering from back surgery and another starting her first year of college away from home!  How could they?  And worse yet?  I was stuck on a floor with OLD people!  Apparently they needed to put a heart monitor on me, so that was the reason for my 90 year old room mate and old neighbors.  All the nurses yelled at me...I could hear them!  They didn't need to.  They just kept apologizing saying it was habit. 

I tried everything to get out of there.  I took big deep breaths and tried not to cough.  I inhaled on that stupid plastic measuring cup and tried to make it stay so I could inhale again to make it higher.  (I failed miserably at this)  I tried not to talk so I wouldn't cough when the nurses came in.  I smiled a lot.  I sat up most of the time in bed.  I played games with the nurses on my phone and tried to get them to be my friends so they would tell the doctors I could go home.  I kept telling them how nice they were.  FINALLY, Saturday morning (after two days and two nights away from my children) they let me go home!  I'm certain it had nothing to do with the fact that I was driving them crazy with my sweet personality. 

So I'm home.  And I'm happy.  I wonder if the kids missed me as much as I missed them.  I doubt it, but it's still good to be HOME!  Some day it will be good to all be at our ETERNAL HOME!  But until then, ...one day at a time!

This is my Toddy Bear (and the wedding card he gave me).  He would always sign little notes with "Your Toddy Bear" and a paw print!  Miss you, Toddy Bear!!

Saturday, September 7, 2013

100 Months Later

September 6, 2013...100 months.  Relay started at 6:30 pm...same time Todd went to heaven.  Everything still hurts.  Went to Relay for Life.  Absolutely painful. 

My Father in Heaven, Why does this still hurt so badly?  Why Todd?  I know I've asked these questions many times over the last 100 months, but WHY?  I watched the Survivor's Lap at Relay For Life.  Shouldn't Todd have been walking in that group?  What about all those bags lit in remembrance of those who have died from that horrible disease CANCER?  What about Todd's bag?  I'm sorry if I am selfish, but I REALLY HATE CANCER.  Please help me dear Father.  I need you now to be close and to hold me close to yourself.  I love you, Lord God, please hold me.  Don't let go.  I need you.