Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Busy Days

I had nearly given up on this blog, but this morning I received notice that someone made a comment that I needed to review. Someone was reading. Not just reading, but relating. That was exactly one reason I began this blog! I was encouraged, so thank you anonymous! And now I'm starting again...

It's been busy. Almost too busy, and yet another blessing from Father. Too busy means not much time to think about how much it still hurts that Todd is not here sharing our children's lives with us and the following, sometimes crippling, loneliness. Our fourth child, Tiffany Grace, just graduated high school. That means four of our children are now "moving on," leaving only two who are under 18 and thus still legally under our authority. Tiffany is the first to go away for college and will be heading to Bob Jones University in just one short month. Bob Jones University is 9 hours driving time away (I know this because we just got back from an orientation weekend there, and that's a very long trip!). I couldn't stop the tears last Sunday when thinking about Todd not being here to share all these emotions. Of course the tears won't seem to come here safely at home...only in public when I don't want them to be seen! Why is this? I guess that should be left for another post on another day.

And then there's our precious Winter Hope. She has scoliosis and requires back surgery next month. This summer has been busy with graduation, parties, college orientation, and now pre-op appointments and planning. There are other minor things, too, like our church's Vacation Bible School, missionary trips, our dog's surgery and consequent complications, weddings, my new adventures in returning to graduate school to get my master's (oh, there's another good post for another day!), planning for my debut in Relay for Life, holidays, my Dad's 80th birthday parties, and, well, my head is spinning so I better stop here.

We recently passed the eight year "angelversary" for Todd. These months have been filled with incredibly good things and some very sad things as well, but all blessings from our Father in heaven who has promised to make all things good. Through each day I am reminded of Todd's love for me and his heart breaking absence. It hurts. Still. Yet, by God's grace alone, the next day comes and I move through it. Thank you, Father, for your help, strength, and guidance. Without You, I would be a lump of crying uselessness.