I have tried to start writing this many times. I can't seem to find the right words, though, to describe Betty and the impact that she has had on my life. For several years I truly believed Betty was an angel, for I never met her in person, hadn't even seen pictures of her until recently, and she always had the perfect words to say when I was at my worst and when I was at my best.
My first encounter with Betty was in 1999 on an online forum entitled "Praying for our children." It was here hundreds (maybe thousands) of moms across the world would communicate with each other about their children and how best to pray for them. Some would type out prayers after reading requests; others would make suggestions; and still others would ask more questions in order to pray with more understanding. Betty did all of these things. I felt she had zeroed in on my particular needs, and we soon began sharing more private emails just between ourselves. This was clearly God at work in our lives to bring us together, as it proved to be the beginning of a long friendship, encouraging each other in the Lord and praying diligently for our children and for each other's children. I live in Pennsylvania, and I found out Betty lived in New Mexico. We were worlds apart geographically, but so close to each other's needs and requests and victories with praise, that the distance never mattered.
There was never a day that passed that I didn't check my email to see if there was an email from Betty in those early days of our friendship. It was common to send and receive at least one email, sometimes more, every single day for years between us. When Todd got sick in 2004, there were also several times that she would tell me to call her or she would call me very late at night or in the wee hours of the morning (when our children were sleeping, so that I/we could actually hold a conversation). Her voice was calm. Soothing. Angelic. As Todd's health declined, Betty became my lifeline. At the time, she was attending pharmaceutical school and was extremely busy with studying and attending classes. Yet she would often take the time to either email or call to explain medical terminology and offer suggestions to help Todd. I thank God, even today, that He used her to help us get Todd into NIH (National Institutes of Health) for his major surgery that no other hospital confidently felt they could handle.
After Todd's passing, Betty was there. She listened to my aching heart. She endured countless emails of never-ending pleas for relief from the pain and agony I was enduring. She patiently would return emails of encouragement, telling me to take one day (or hour or minute) at a time and to "climb up in Father's lap and just let Him hold you." She insisted, for then, that I simply needed to rest in our Heavenly Father's lap and let Him do the rest. Gradually she encouraged me to take baby steps as she saw I could move forward. She never let me stay "stuck" in my grief. She needed to gently push me, knowing my potential and always encouraging me to take those steps with Father's help, leaning on Him for every small advancement. I couldn't see a difference, but she would often tell me she did and "show" me over and over that God was truly working and that I was making progress. Honestly, without Betty's continuous emails, I truly believe I would still be stuck in my grief and not be doing anything to help myself or my children. But by God's grace, now 16 years after Todd going to heaven, and with Betty's encouragement and prayers, I can face each day with the confidence that God will sustain and help and guide me through the rest of this life.
Over the past decade our emails began to get more sporadic. We would check on each other periodically, and be sure to share the big events in our children's lives as well as our own. After finally getting the pictures from my son's wedding, I emailed Betty to share our special day with her.
The next morning her husband emailed me back. Betty had passed away on September 13, 2020. At first the email didn't make sense. There was no way. But very quickly, before I even finished reading the details and rest of his email, my eyes filled with tears. I'm still having difficulty believing this (thus why I haven't been able to write this for so long). Several friends and acquaintances have died since Todd's death, but none have hit me like the loss of Betty. It can't be real, can it? Betty? My rock? The one who is always there for me? Once again, I feel so alone. It is only Jesus. He will never leave. Time to crawl back up in Father's lap.
Forever in our hearts. I miss you, my dear, dear precious friend. Until heaven...
