Todd's Mom was hospitalized with pneumonia last week. His brother had surgery Monday to remove a blood clot. And I feel cold for several reasons: 1. our heater broke last week, 2. the heater in my van is broken (going to work and church have been quite an ordeal in this cold weather!), and 3. I haven't visited Todd's Mom or his brother, nor have I even called them to see how they were/are doing.
Visiting hospitals and sick people have always been a difficulty for me. Looking back, I can see how God worked in my life to be able to get me to endure Todd's sickness and all the hospital stays. Todd was my strength and anchor when our Winter Hope was in and out of children's hospitals with tests and procedures and the many doctor visits. I spent weeks "living" in the hospital when Todd was sick, and weeks in the ICU (which was a miracle of God's, and although overwhelming, was necessary to be with my love).
So visiting local hospitals to see Todd's Mom and to encourage his brother should be easy after all that God helped me to accomplish during Todd's sickness, right? I feel cold.
God is good. I am still learning, still growing as a person, but sometimes I feel helpless. It's hard to grow as a person without your strength, confidence, and love by your side. I miss Todd, and I know his family misses him a lot these days. He would be there by his mom and brother's side (probably with all of us as well). I can't do it without him. I feel cold without him. I miss him more and more....when is this supposed to get better? Thank you for your prayers. It means a lot. God is good.
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