This week has been a challenge that has given many opportunities to learn what it means to trust in God fully. Being without Todd to call or make major decisions, I have been left feeling very alone, lost, and confused. However, I am also learning yet another phase to what it means to fully trust in God. Prov. 3:5 is my life verse. It has been my favorite verse in the Bible before I even met Todd, and over the years it has come to mean more and more. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding."
This week I had to come to the realization that we no longer can use Todd's van. We're eventually going to have to junk it. The following day our red van broke down, and the mechanics told me it was time to look for a newer one. Now there are numerous reasons for me to panic. I have never bought a car. I don't have any money to buy a car. I don't know how to buy a car. I don't know anything about a car. Perhaps the biggest one: I need a car. We are a family of seven, and I need to find a car big enough, and I need to find out how to pay for a car big enough. Mostly, I need to trust God.
As I trust, waiting for God to show me all the answers to all these questions, I hurt. I miss Todd. I feel like I need him. I know all I need is God. I've never done this, but if you are reading, I sure could use your prayers! ...and I thank you very much for them during this difficult time.
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