I love my kids!

I really do. They make me laugh. They keep me active. They encourage me. They also seem to enjoy letting me know my faults as well. That's a little tough sometimes, but as long as it's respectful, it's good.

Toby (5 years old) called me in her room tonight. She was scared. But instead of the usual, she said this: "Mom, I was going to tell you I was scared, but I remembered what you said about God and how He is with me. You don't have to stay in here, but I wanted to tell you I was scared." How precious is that? I almost cried! I love that little girl. She still talks about Daddy and wanting to see him in heaven. Just today she asked me when we could go to heaven to see Jesus and Daddy. I told her we had to wait until God said it was time. She answered, "I want Him to say it's time now!" ...so do I!

My older kids are pretty cool. I love them, too. Very much. I just love my kids. God has blessed me with some great children. I pray they continue to seek Him and learn to love Him more each day. I'm certain their Dad would be proud of all of them.

Even after almost 4 years, I still feel so broken as a family. We're not whole. Todd was such a huge part of our family. It still seems so strange not to be able to share things with him about the children. It still feels strange to say "my children" rather than "ours." I took Trina for her driver's permit last week. She is the third one now to get her driver's license, and still it feels so very strange without Todd here sharing these monumental occasions.

I love my kids; I'm proud of my kids; yet I miss their Dad more with every step they take in their life.