This family picture was taken when Winter Hope was 2 1/2 years old. Todd had wanted a family picture taken when Winter turned one, but I refused. This may sound awful, but I couldn't stand the thought of having a family picture hanging on the wall with one of us not here any longer, and in Winter's first year of life, we never knew if she would make it through the next night. (see Weathering Winter for Winter's story)
Todd would often tell me that I needed to trust God, that I needed to allow God to work, and that I needed to accept the reality that Winter may not be here on this earth with us for long. "But if that is going to happen," Todd would say, "it was because it was God's plan, and that would be ok." He wanted a family picture for the memories. I did not want the picture for the same reason. We had a different viewpoint. He already saw the good memories of Winter's life, and I was consumed with the dread of losing her, imagining the bad memories a picture like that would bring for me.
When Winter was 2 and a half, God gave me a peace to have the picture taken. Winter was no longer on an apnea monitor. She was doing well, but not without those occasional "episodes" that would fill us with panic and fear. God was in control. And He still is.
That family picture was the largest we have ever purchased. It still hangs over our fireplace. I'm thankful for the man holding our precious Winter Hope: for his faith, for his trust, and for his love for God. I'm thankful I can look at that picture and know that one day we will all be together again as a family.
I'm also thankful for these 10 years with Winter Hope! Happy Birthday, Winter!!
No comments:
Post a Comment