John

I tried to call him Pastor John, but it was just John today. He reminded me of some good memories we shared, as our parents were close friends when we were growing up. I thought of more as the day grew on. Playing nerf basketball with John and Buddy, leaping off their beds for the perfect slam dunk, trying not to break anything. The cool bumper pool table they had in their basement. Riding bikes up to the arcade down at the shore. Playing Rook. Spying on my older brother and John's older sister.....didn't they date at one time?

Anyway, a lot of years have passed since those days. I can't sleep again, and I can't stop crying since seeing John today. I honestly think this has been the hardest Christmas yet without Todd. The loneliness can be overwhelming as I try to pick out gifts and get ready for Christmas the best I am able. I feel like I'm falling apart in every area. I've even questioned God's presence and His love for us, wondering if He had forgotten my children and I. I want to scream, "Remember us?? We're still here, alone, without Todd!" The days keep coming, and the tears keep flowing. Life feels so empty and I feel so lost here without Todd. It stinks.

Seeing John today not only brought back some fond memories of growing up, but also allowed me to realize that God has not forgotten us. John repeatedly said he wanted me and the children to feel God's love and know we were not forgotten. Unfortunately, most have forgotten. Afterall, this is the third Christmas now without Todd. However, I didn't feel forgotten today. I felt loved and very blessed in having such a friend like John and for having Fellowship Church, most of whom do not know us, show such care and love to us in their many gifts. My kids were thrilled to unpack the basket and arrange things for me....they sincerely seemed thankful for me, if that makes sense. I'm still overwhelmed; these were special gifts from a special friend...




Thank you, John, and thank you, Fellowship. I pray God's richest blessings upon each of you!





My many thanks also to our Chadds Ford family, who have given much to us this time of year. I am continually amazed at how great God is. It seems when I feel the most down, the most discouraged, the most forgotten, God's people come along to support, uphold, encourage, and remind me of God's love for me.

Thank you so very, very much, John, Fellowship, Chadds Ford, but mostly, GOD. He is so good.