Friday, April 25, 2008

Raging Storms

It seems the storms are raging more frequently these past days/weeks. The memories of Todd's last few weeks here with us are ever present and create a sense of storm in which to find my way through these dark days. The memories are painful. I remember that Monday when he was helping Toby with a puzzle on the floor and couldn't get up. When we tried to help him, he said in a shaky voice, "Please don't touch me; it hurts all over." I nearly fell apart. Todd was a pillar of strength just a few months earlier. He did everything! Now he was crumpled on the floor, unable to move.

Yes, the memories can create such a storm and the tears have been flowing, yet I am so thankful for the good memories, too. In remembering how we talked Todd's final days here, how we remembered together all the fun times, how we assured each other of our eternal destinies, how God had blessed us over the years...we smiled through our tears. I can still see Todd's smile as the tears streamed down his face when he told me watching Toby play, "I want so badly to walk Toby down the aisle, but God has other plans. I'll be watching." I love that smile and I will always cherish it.

I found this quote on a music video and it is so true:

Sometimes God calms the storm....sometimes God allows the storm to rage and calms His child.

Thank you, dear God, for the calm and peace you provide through the storms of life. Thank you again for Todd and for his smile.

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