I had an interesting conversation with one of my former students. Here's a young man who knows a lot of facts about the Bible and Christianity, yet has chosen to claim he is a theist...he told me he believes in a god, but not necessarily the God of the Bible. He seemed very upset when I talked of my faith (which he knows very well), especially, as he put it, "praying to a God who you say is all-powerful yet who allowed your husband to die from something like cancer." He went on to talk about the lack of "proof" that God was real, active, or even cared about this world today. After some debate, I finally ended with saying, "I don't know where I would be right now without God and the knowledge that He does care for me."
These last few weeks have been filled with memories, some good, but most of Todd's last few days here with us. I'm surprised that I have any tears left, yet they continue to come every day. Going to sleep at night is my only relief from the pain, and then I wake up to the reality that Todd is not here, not coming home from work, and the pain begins all over again. Where does one turn when you feel like your whole world has caved in? Where does one look when everything seems so dark and endlessly lonely? There is only one place to go, and I am so thankful to serve and personally know a God who cares! Only the God of heaven, the true and living God of the Bible, is big enough, strong enough, caring enough, and loving enough to heal my broken heart. Thank you, dear Heavenly Father, for caring for "such a worm as I."
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