My heart is again broken tonight to the point of a deep painful ache. I got the news yesterday while in church that a close friend's husband unexpectedly passed away. Yesterday afternoon I went to visit her. I had to see her, despite the long drive. I had to give her a hug, which we did for a long time! Neither wanted to let go. I love her so much and hate when she is hurting. It's still so shocking and unbelievable.
We are both comforted in knowing Jeff is in heaven, with Todd, and probably talking about their crazy wives and families. But we miss them. Waiting here on earth without the love of our lives seems cruel. But God is not cruel; He is good. He is kind. He is loving. He only gives us things to draw us closer to Him and give us things we can't even imagine. But I still want heaven. It again feels so close and real tonight.
My daughter was mentioning yesterday how she would love to see the spiritual: those things that are here with us on this earth, but blinded from our eyes. The angels. What are they doing at this very minute? And where is heaven? Is it closer than we think, perhaps within our sight but only blinded from our eyes like other spiritual beings? What if Jeff and Todd were so close we could see them!
I know they are safe with Jesus, but I want to be there with them. I want to see it all. I'm tired of living by faith. I want to see Jesus. I want to see Todd. I want to see Jeff, and Steve, and Kimmie, and Pammie, and the Choates, and the Allens, and Mr. Murphy, and the D's (and so many, many more!). How much longer do we need to stay on this earth, waiting?
Then I am reminded of those here that God kept for us to help and care for. Yes, there are our children, but how many more souls in this world who have never heard the good news? They are all around us, and we need to be willing and open to share Jesus with them so that they, too, can one day be in heaven. So for this reason, I will impatiently wait for heaven, but in the mean time keep telling others about Jesus. One day we will all be together. "Looking unto Jesus!" until He comes...