The Blessings of Being Sick!

Christmas brings with it many, many, many tasks. At times it can be overwhelming. With six children and painful memories, I found myself having difficulty just knowing what to do next. Everything hurt: the memories, the tasks, being alone, responsibilities mounting, decisions...it seems endless. Then suddenly everything stops. I got sick. Not sick, sick, just sick. Unable to move, sick. I soon found it to be a blessing....no, really!

There was another time during this journey that I remember being thankful for being sick (that was nearly 2 years ago). Moms don't get sick. Everyone knows that. And if we ever do get sick, our husbands, the other parent, the other guardian, the "go-to guy" as it were, steps in and nothing ever skips a beat. At least that's how it used to work with us. But since Todd is no longer with us, I've come to realize that God gives incredible stamina to me now. I rarely get sick. Even when all the children get something, God seems to allow me to stay healthy. He is clearly my strength and my stronghold!

So at the end of last week I got sick again (that's only been the second time in nearly 5 years that I can remember). When I say sick, I mean sick as in can't move, can't think, complete body shut-down. It's scary to know you have six children to be responsible for, but all you can do is listen to "buzz," see figures in a distant daze, and know you are helpless to help them.

While in this state, this past weekend, while in bed, I begged God to help me. He kept saying, "Be still." I needed to get things done. God said, "Be still." I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. God said, you got it, "Be still." So I was still. I was still for a very long time.

As my head began to clear, I was able to utter some short prayers. Gradually I was able to think of verses and parts of verses. Then little voices became more clear. I know, it's unreal. It was like I was in a dream, living it, but so hazy and foggy. Very weird, but true! Finally I was able to stop being still! God allowed me strength and wisdom to move and think again, and it didn't hurt as badly to do so! I still feel wobbly as I write this, still miss Todd and cry at the memories and not having him here, but stronger and truly amazed at the blessings in being sick! God is so good. He knows when I need to be still. He provides comfort and rest, and I am so thankful for the blessings of being sick. One step at a time... or now it's back to one baby step at a time...