Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Another Christmas...Come and Gone

Christmas was a little different this year. It's been "different" for 13 years now since Todd left us for his eternal home in heaven, but this Christmas season had it's very good moments and it's difficult days as well. I think it's been the most different and difficult since those early years after Todd died. Our family is growing and moving, so the tight-nit closeness of just "us," left to survive with only each other, wasn't felt this year. And I suppose that is a good thing. I suppose, in reality, this is a very good thing for our family, as we are no longer feeling that "survival" mode, getting through the hard times alone, but now the family is putting those things behind and learning to cope and grow as individuals.

Our youngest is fifteen now. She barely remembers Daddy, as she was only two years old that first Christmas without him. Of course she doesn't remember any Christmas with Daddy, so this Christmas was one similar to all others for her. And that is good.

Our 24 year old daughter got married in the summer, so I know this Christmas was very special for her: the first spent with her new husband! And that is good.

Our 27 year old son bought a home in the summer and had moved there just two weeks before Christmas. So I know this Christmas was filled with new excitement for him as well! And that is good.

Our 19 and 26 year old daughters and 29 year old son are doing well in college and jobs and have been quite successful in both academics and careers. They are all maturing into adulthood and settling nicely with their grown-up lives, so this Christmas, for them, was happy and well. And that is good.

For me, this was a big time of adjustment, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I know, especially around this time of year, I need to be thinking truth and constantly repeating God's Word, His promises, and Truth over and over in my head or I would spin into a downward spiral that would leave me in a pit of depression and self pity. I know this, because I've been there many, many times through the years! But I was determined this year to not end up in my room alone, crying for hours. I wanted to be a part, so I leaned heavy on my good God to get me through.

One thing that I was so excited about was making snowmen packages for all the kids (including a spouse and girlfriend)!
 They seemed to really enjoy them, and Katrina even added yellow tissue paper to her younger sister's, Tiffany's, snowman and explained our dog must have peed on hers!

 The kids also surprised me with my own snowman they had made for me, too!

 Christmas Eve, when everyone went to bed, I placed hats on all the snowmen for an added surprise on Christmas morning! I had a lot of fun with this and everyone seemed to really enjoy this new twist to our Christmas routine.

Even our dog enjoyed the festivities! 

Admittedly, there were tears as I cried myself to sleep on several nights, longing to share my heart with Todd and have him experience all of the joy and heartaches of raising these children into adulthood, but God was there with me. He is here with me now and will be with me in the coming days! I am so grateful that I can share everything with Him. He understands. He loves me. And He cares. I am resting in these truths through this Christmas season, and I am so, so very thankful for our good, loving, and caring God! May you experience the same in your life, not only this Christmas, but every Christmas God allows us to be here with our families!

No comments: