I was asked in a devotional I read today to step back and ask myself what I've learned over these past 4 years since Todd died. I've learned a lot, but here are a few that stand out tonight:
I've learned to kill spiders all by myself.
I've learned where to put the oil into the van and what kind of oil to buy.
I've learned to fill in that empty space at the table with one of the children, or with a guest.
I've learned it's ok to cry in public (even though I don't like to).
I've learned how to call and/or talk to strangers on the phone over business matters.
I've learned I put way too much trust in Todd for everything.
I've learned that life continues on for others "normally" and that mine never will.
I've learned how to wash deer poop off our dog all by myself.
I've learned how to answer Toby when she asks when Daddy is coming back.
I've learned there are some friends who stick with you no matter what, others who still act like they don't know what to say.
I've learned that God answers prayers according to His PERFECT WILL, and not my desires, and according to what's best for me...which may mean He answers the same prayers for others in a different way.
I've learned God is totally trustworthy, and that with His strength and guidance, I can get through this!
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