Another "6th," making today 39 months living without Todd. I received a letter from Todd's Mom today. In a short letter, the words "lonely" and "alone" appeared five times. Todd's father died in Feb, 1999, when our Winter Hope was a month old. Todd was torn between his infant daughter's health concerns and being with his Mom. He did well. His Mom knew he loved her. He was there for her when she needed him. The letter spoke of Todd's siblings and how they are there for her now. I'm praising the Lord for them, yet I feel I should be there for her as well. I know all about those words "lonely" and "alone," and I'm living with a house full of kids!
A landscaper stopped by today, offering a great deal to remove some trees and do some pruning, and asked if my husband was home. Yes, Todd is home in heaven, but not here. I had to say the words again, "My husband passed away..." and the tears came. As he drove down the drive, he said, "Keep your chin up, it could be worse." I tried to smile. Worse? maybe to some, but for me, no, it can't get any worse than losing the one person on earth who meant the most to me.
Yet God continues to care for us. Trina (15) reminded me today that God is always here, and that He will never leave us. I knew that, but at a time when I was missing Todd, aching to talk with him again, it was good to be reminded. God hears. God sees. God knows. ...and God cares. Thank you, again, to those praying for us! He hears your prayers and is answering. He is good.
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