Memories Last Forever

Today I saw two friends from the past who I hadn't seen for years. It still feels strange to see them continue on with their lives, when things are so different for me since I last saw them. It's difficult to describe. Life goes on, and pretty "normally" for most people. Sometimes I want to scream, "Todd died! Does anyone remember or care?" I know they do, but life seems so normal for them.

It was pretty awesome, however, to hear our former neighbor talking about her two year old twin boys, and saying how she remembered Todd doing things with our boys (she was a teen and spent a lot of time with us at the condo, our first home) and teaching them different things, and how she was doing the same things with her boys now. That was pretty amazing. You never realize what an impression you have on people. Obviously Todd made a big impression on her, and I'm sure countless others.

As life continues on for everyone, I have to realize that mine will never be the same as it was. Accepting the new "normal" is not easy. I'm thankful for Todd. I'm thankful for the lasting memories. I'm so glad he was a part of our lives. I think I will always miss him, but I'm trying to accept life as God has it for me now. Not easy, but God's grace is sufficient.

Clear Day For "Launching" Balloons!

My precious 5 year old made a card for Daddy on Father's Day. She asked me, "Can we send this up to Daddy with balloons, or should I wait until he comes back in the clouds with Jesus to give it to him?" How does a Mom answer that one?

We decided to send her card up with balloons, but Sunday was cloudy and rainy. She told me we couldn't send her card up that day, "because the rain will make the balloons come back down."

So, early Monday morning, a very excited little girl woke up yelling, "It's sunny! Look at the sun! We can send Daddy's card up today!" So we did...

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you wonderful fathers out there. Found some pictures yesterday that I wanted to share of one of the best Dad's ever...

Loneliness Hurts

Have you ever felt alone? I mean totally alone? The room could be crowded with people, or you could have family members all around you, but yet you felt alone? I’ve felt this way countless times since Todd died. It’s an empty, sick feeling….to be totally alone in this world. Many times accompanying this loneliness comes an ache in your gut, in the deepest part of your being, that makes you feel like you are literally going to break in half. It hurts. Your stomach hurts so badly that you want to throw up (and sometimes do). Those are the times when we MUST remind ourselves of God’s Word and His promises. God will never leave us. God will never forsake us. He is always here, standing beside us, and walking us through, even through the darkest, deepest valleys in life.

Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us: “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

I never want to be disrespectful to our Heavenly and Most Holy God, but in the words of Rascal Flatts, “He Ain’t the Leaving Kind.” I love this song, so I decided to put some pictures to the words and music.

Congratulations?

Well, I labored for weeks/months on a video for Nathan's graduation in anticipation of this monumental event. Hopefully, congratulations are in order soon. He's "working" on self-pace courses that need to be completed by the end of the summer for his official graduation and diploma from high school. Anyway, in great anticipation and much prayer, here is Nathan's graduation gift from me. You all get a sneak preview before he even has seen it! But Lord willing, he will see it soon and another Radle child will have graduated. phew. Here's is Todd's "special boy!" :)

Awards!

Both Winter and Toby received their year-end C-Club awards at church tonight. I am so proud of them.



Today the girls went to an orientation for enrollment at another cyber school, and both Winter and Toby had to be tested. I had no doubt about Winter, who did very well in 5th grade, and easily passed her tests to enroll in the 6th grade, after my home-schooling attempt this past year. However, I was a little more concerned with the Tobster, after I failed so miserably at home schooling her in Kindergarten. I wish you could have seen her smiling from ear to ear, when she learned she is officially enrolled in FIRST GRADE! Yay, Toby!

I'm still deciding what will be the best for the children in schooling next year. I don't like decisions...especially such huge ones. I know God will lead. He always does. I pray I am tender and open to what HE wants us to do next year! Right now, I am thanking Him for a successful year of school, despite my short-comings! God is good.

Today's Devotions

I recently came across a great new Website entitled: I Stink at Devotions Here you are able to track your devotions and be held accountable to others for having them daily. They have prayer requests, and what I like the most, is their section on Devotions, which give you three choices of daily devotional reads. I usually end up reading all three!

Anyway, today's 3rd reading was great. It was taken from Strength For Today: Reassurance In The Midst of Trials and one paragraph said this:

Trials are inevitable, and the pain associated with them can be very intense, but when compared to what we will enjoy in the future, they hardly matter. Paul saw them as light afflictions, or literally “weightless trifles.” He knew that their real significance is only in how they contribute to our eternal glory. That contribution is anything but trivial. Rather, it produces “an eternal weight of glory.” Concerning this expression, it’s as if Paul envisioned an old-fashioned two-sided scale that was being tipped in favor of the future by the cumulative mass (“eternal weight of glory”) of his individual sufferings. Paul could endure the pain of present trials when he was certain that they contributed positively to his life in Heaven.

The verse given was II Corinthians 4:17 "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;"

Great stuff! Looking forward to heaven tonight, and thanking God for these wonderful truths.

And by the way, if you stink at devotions, or just want to be more consistent....check out this site! I Stink at Devotions

Oldest turning 20 tomorrow

Our/My oldest will be turning 20 years old tomorrow, May 20th. He recently finished his second year at Penn State. I can't be more proud of my kiddos. They have overcome so much, and I feel like they have grown up with the support of each other and God alone. As I look at them now, especially our soon-to-be 20 year old, I am amazed at how mature and wise and balanced they have become...all seemingly on their own. God has been good. Looking back, Abe was just 15 years old when he lost his father (and the majority of his mother as well). He and Dad were looking forward to seeing the new Star Wars movie, and Todd was especially anxious to get alone with Abe as he was reaching this milestone in his life. He would tell me what he wanted to say to him, how he wanted to make things right between them (there were some tense times lately with Todd not feeling well and Abe's adolescent ambivalence towards life in general), and how anxious he was to just spend time alone with his oldest son, whom he loved so very much. Unfortunately Todd died 2 weeks before that special date. Now Abe is turning 20, another birthday without Dad, yet he has become a strong, wise, godly young man. I'm thankful for the right choices he has made. I'm thankful that he has not shown any bitterness in losing his father at such a young age. I'm thankful for his love for God. I hope and pray that I can be a better mom, and that my children continue to love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls, and minds.

Happy Birthday, Abe. I love you and am so proud of you, son.

Good memories

I went to the shore today, despite several concerned friends and family members. I'm glad I went. I asked God to help me think of the good times. He provided strength, and although there were many memories, I think there may have been more smiles today than tears, or at least close. I am thanking God for Todd and these great memories, and thought I would take some time to share them with you...



Todd and I both loved the ocean. Todd was always fascinated with the strength of the waves and it would remind him of God's power and greatness. No matter what the temperature of the water, Todd would always run in to meet those waves head on, diving under the crash, and coming up smiling on the other side. I was too chicken; I would smile and wave.



I wish this was open. Todd would get me a chocolate cone with chocolate jimmies. yum! He never got anything here. Just watch me eat.



One of Todd's favorite spots. I still think he spent way too much money in this store.



Does this seem clear enough? Here is where Todd nearly crashed our surrey (he was driving the entire family!) while trying to turn around. The kids thought it was funny. I wasn't laughing. Very embarrassing with him yelling, "Look out! I can't steer this thing!"



Yes, I bought fudge. Todd always let me.



Todd's favorite pizza in the whole world. Sorry it was closed, or I would have eaten a slice in his memory.



Todd would not be happy to know that they replaced his favorite donuts with this store. We stayed at the Harris House, just so he could get those fresh donuts in the morning. oh well...



Todd loved to take the kids here to eat....they had everything and everyone was happy!



When we were at the very top, Todd would tell the kids that the man was going to unhook the chains, and that we would roll down the beach. The kids, of course would start screaming, "No, Daddy, we don't want to." And he would lovingly reply, "It's all part of the ride, you'll see." ugh. Yet every year we had to ride the ferris wheel.



Here is where we were enjoying a picnic on the field, watching the kite festival, and the sprinklers went off. Again, Todd laughed as he helped me save the food. I didn't see the humor in it (until today).



We sat on those bleachers on the top left when Todd proposed to me in the middle of the 4th of July fireworks.



This is the 24 hour diner we stopped and talked until 3am after he asked me to marry him. We dreamed and planned our future... surreal.


On the way to the shore pics:

Story Book Land....the kids' first trip to an "amusement park" ...just for them! We only had three then. Great day.



Ok. Todd loved this. I don't know why. He thought it was cool. I still think it's stupid.


God granted many victories for me today. This was a big step for me. I miss Todd so much, yet I am so thankful for him and the time I had with him. He left us with many, many GOOD memories! Thank you God for today. Thank you God for Todd.

Dr. and Mrs. E Allen Griffith

One of Todd's favorite portion of Scripture was Psalm 1. The first three verses say this: "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."

An example of this godly man in these verses, both Todd and I agreed, was Dr. E Allen Griffith. Todd and I met at church, and Dr. Griffith was our pastor. We grew the most spiritually during those years. Todd learned much, and would often refer to the pre-marriage counseling we received before Pastor Griffith married us, and would repeat much of it to me over the years. Pastor Griffith's advice, knowledge of the Scripture, and example he gave helped us both to build our marriage on God's Word and instructions, and pray together often.

I am sure as Todd grew weaker and weaker, these are the reasons why he insisted that our beloved former Pastor officiate his funeral.

The Griffiths have been through a lot over the years. They have endured many trials and disappointments, yet they have always remained steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. Their testimony speaks volumes.

Tomorrow, May 6th, will be four years since Todd died. Four years ago today, May 5th, the Griffiths came to visit us. I will always remember and be forever grateful for that visit. Pastor G prayed with Todd, and I can remember the tears. Mrs. Griffith's kindness and helpful insight changed the entire atmosphere of our home from a sense of fear and doom to one of blessing and love. There is no way to adequately thank them for that, so I thank and praise God for them and for that visit.

God works through the Griffiths' lives daily. They have five children who are all serving the Lord and love God with all their hearts. They have eighteen grandchildren who are being taught God's Word, and have a wonderful example to watch and follow in their grandparents. Currently they have a ministry called Biblical Family Ministries, where they preach and teach God's Word as the absolute truth that can solve the growing problems of broken and divided homes with all the accompanying heartache.

I am so thankful to the Griffiths for the godly impact they have and continue to have on me and my family. Today, with all the memories of Todd's sickness and Homegoing, I am praising God for the Griffiths. May God continue to bless them and their ministry as they continue to delight in the law of the Lord.

Biblical Family Ministry Website
Christianity Pure & Simple
The Cultural Collapse Project
STANDpoint