Summer's Gone.....Fall is Upon Us!

I can't believe a whole summer has gone by since I've written on my blog. I apologize, but it's been a long, difficult summer. It began when my parents came up early to say goodbye to their closest friend, Ruth Allen, who was like a second mother to me. She had suffered for 2 years in and out of hospitals and care units, struggling with pain and discomfort, and the pain of being separated from family, children, grandchildren, and friends. Mr. Allen never left her side. He visited her every day, and nothing could stop him, including his own pain he was enduring. I tried to visit as much as possible, but it hurt. Memories came flooding back. The day after my last visit with Mrs. Allen, she went to be with her Savior and Lord. The family had left to make funeral arrangements, and it was almost like she waited until she was alone. Less than two weeks later, after missing his wife's own funeral because he was in the hospital, Mr. Allen went to be with his Savior and Lord. Gone. Just like that. I miss them both dearly.


It wasn't too much longer after that, that my brother's girlfriend's mother took a turn for the worse in her battle with cancer. I tried to help my taking her up as much as I could to see her Mom in a hospice out of state. Again, lots of memories and very difficult for me. I cried myself to sleep most nights.

Then on the way to church one night, we saw a horrible motorcycle accident. When I got to church, my brother texted me this: "That motorcycle accident was Tommy. He died." ????? WHAT??? My cousin, Tommy Mills, Jr. had been trying to help a fellow biker, and they got too close, the accident occurred, and he died. I still can't believe this one. It's too crazy. He was a good cousin. His Dad, Uncle Tom, was and is the coolest uncle I have. I love Uncle Tom, and he had just lost his wife, Aunt Phylis a couple years before. Just so unbelievable.


The day of Tommy's funeral, my brother's gf got a call that her Mother had taken a turn for the worse and wasn't going to be living very long. My brother stayed at the funeral and I drove his gf to see her mom. It was heart-wrenching. She kept fighting for every breath, and then finally Dan's gf told me she couldn't stay anymore (we had been there all day), and that she wanted to go home. So we did. As soon as we pulled in the driveway, her cell phone rang, and we found out her mom had just passed away.

That's a lot of people to lose in one summer. That's also a lot of memories. The toughest memory this summer was when I was sitting with a dear friend's family waiting to hear the result of a surgery that was meant to remove a large tumor in her abdomen. That was a long day. The result? cancer. I could barely breathe. I had had enough, and still have difficulty thinking and even praying for her, because it hurts so very much to see a friend who is like family suffering like she is, like Todd did.

However, Father has been good. He's been so faithful. He's the only reason to keep moving forward, so I will. Each day seems to bring some new challenge, heartache, or surprise for us, but knowing Father knows it all helps us to keep going!

No Greater Love Ocean.avi

The Passion of the Christ

Last night the older kids and I watched this movie for the first time. I wasn't sure what to expect. I had heard so many conflicting viewpoints about this movie, but after participating in a Bible Study called, The Cross from Setting Captives Free, I wanted to see for myself. I prayed much before viewing it.
I went to bed feeling totally overwhelmed with Christ's love for me. I was drawn to the character Mary in the movie, how much she loved her son, but yet how she "got it." She was so thankful to Him, but hurt so much for Him. I also was struck with how gentle, tender, selfless, and loving Jesus was to all those who hated Him. The actor's eyes helped me to realize that Jesus truly felt badly for those who rejected Him, for those who whipped Him unmercifully, for those who drove the nails into His hands....He truly LOVED them!
And then to realize that is how Jesus loves me, then as He hung on the cross, and now as He watches and cares and prays for me in heaven. He sees my tears and knows my pain. He understands like no one else ever could. And even more exciting, He arose so that one day I can see Him face to face! And if that isn't enough, I know because of all of this, His suffering, death, and resurrection, that I will one day see Todd again as well.
What more can I say? Happy Easter everyone! Be blessed and feel God's love for YOU this Easter and all year long!

New Stove!

Yesterday we got a new stove! Earlier in the week while I was heating the oven, Winter and I heard a strange noise, and Winter pointed to the oven that was suddenly in flames. Of course, being the calm one in the family, I screamed for help and panicked! I did what any sane person would do and opened the oven door. Ok, maybe insane. More flames! After slamming the door and Tiff coming with a fire extinguisher, I managed to turn the oven off. It eventually smothered itself and went out.

One of the first things Todd promised me when we moved here was to get a new stove, because one of the burners was not working. I hated that, but soon learned how to cook with only two burners! After the fire when my oldest son came home, he insisted on us buying a new one, like the closest store was giving them away at 100% off or something. UGH.

When my other son came home, he unplugged the oven for me and stopped the power from the circuit box to that outlet. I felt better. I was scared of the thing! It was like it was possessed or something. Every time I went into the kitchen, it would stare at me. I was waiting for more flames to appear at any moment, but none came.

After the second night of cold cereal for dinner, my oldest son insisted on purchasing a new stove for us. He said he had money saved. So we went to look for a stove...three "children" and myself. All I could think about was what would Todd want. What would he pick out? What color would he want? So I let the kids pick it out. They did well. I LOVE my new, black oven!

Last night I cooked a big meal and we were privileged to have guests join us! Tonight I cooked again! Two nights in a row! I can't believe I'm writing this, but it was actually fun. My heart aches without Todd here to enjoy our new stove, and oh how I wish the meals I am cooking would be eaten and praised by him, but I am rejoicing in our new purchase, thanking Father for His goodness, and for my wonderful son!

February 27, 2011: My 23rd Anniversary

23rd Wedding Anniversary

Tomorrow, February 27th, will be my 23rd Wedding Anniversary. I sure miss Todd. Really wish we would be going out to dinner tomorrow night. Someday, I'll see him again, and I'm so thankful to Father that we will be spending eternity together, with Jesus! Yes!

What happened to January?

OK, so January is past and February is almost past. Where have I been? you may ask, but probably not...but I'm going to answer that question anyway...it's been an interesting few weeks with driving lessons (first "accident" occurred last week, and now the garage door is badly dented...oh well, better a dented door than a dented other car or truck, right?), puppy fun (so much fun cleaning up pee everywhere and shoveling poop off the deck), watching my three year old nephew while he's being potty trained, school work deadlines, Winter's rock climbing birthday party, breaking my tailbone while sledding (kids said I got air! It was almost worth it!), Valentine's Day with no valentine, cleaning out cabinets, and two crazy brothers who act more like two more children sometimes! wow. Nice to get that all out.

So tomorrow is President's Day. Kids are off school, Abe is off work, and I agreed to watch two boys tomorrow....we will have a full house! I'm praying we can go to the zoo, but the forecast is rain, ice pellets, and snow. Not good for a zoo trip, but I have a feeling I will make it happen just to get out of the house with all the children that will be running around here. Better put them in the zoo, I mean visit the zoo, then here, right? We shall see...

Alright, this is a short one, because my tailbone is still healing and, well, you can imagine the pain after sitting for more than a few minutes. And if you can't imagine the pain, then imagine flying down a hill on the ice, sitting on a plastic sled, hitting a jump, floating for a moment in the air, then crashing butt first onto an icy rock (or something), rolling around in the icy snow trying to stand up before the kids see you, and standing there for a moment in shock while five little faces look concerned for only a second then burst into laughter. Yes. Good times, but I need to sign off now because I can no longer sit. :)