Laminin?

Got this in an email. Amazing. Love it. Hope you will watch and worship...

Laminin

sometimes memories still hurt

Some things can still catch me off-guard, and unexpected tears just seem to come from nowhere. Winter hurt her finger last week, and the doctor taped it in order to keep it protected and immobilized. He said she should have it taped for a week or two, and that if it came off, to just put more on, and he showed me how. As usual all I heard was "bum, bum, bum-bum-bum..." so when it came loose today, I was lost. Fortunately Winter said she remembered how to "buddy tape" as the doctor termed it. Thing is, I didn't have any of that kind of medical tape....or did I?

Trina and Nathan remembered "Dad's tape." We still had a box of medical supplies that NIH told us we could keep. Nice stuff...actually the best of the best coming from NIH! So, we're using "Dad's tape" tonight. It brings it all to the present again, so fresh, like it was yesterday when we were using those supplies.

I miss him. Hurting again, missing my love...

What Am I Learning?

I was asked in a devotional I read today to step back and ask myself what I've learned over these past 4 years since Todd died. I've learned a lot, but here are a few that stand out tonight:

I've learned to kill spiders all by myself.
I've learned where to put the oil into the van and what kind of oil to buy.
I've learned to fill in that empty space at the table with one of the children, or with a guest.
I've learned it's ok to cry in public (even though I don't like to).
I've learned how to call and/or talk to strangers on the phone over business matters.
I've learned I put way too much trust in Todd for everything.
I've learned that life continues on for others "normally" and that mine never will.
I've learned how to wash deer poop off our dog all by myself.
I've learned how to answer Toby when she asks when Daddy is coming back.
I've learned there are some friends who stick with you no matter what, others who still act like they don't know what to say.
I've learned that God answers prayers according to His PERFECT WILL, and not my desires, and according to what's best for me...which may mean He answers the same prayers for others in a different way.
I've learned God is totally trustworthy, and that with His strength and guidance, I can get through this!

Best Buddies??

We had fun with Chauncey and Rocky with yesterday's beautiful weather. We were outside a lot and I think everyone had a good time...

Introducing: Chauncey!

OK. We have 3 weeks to decide. Right now I don't know how this is going to turn out. Rocky is very jealous. I know it's the first night, but it's been a LONG night! Chauncey is a big boy, and he makes me nervous, but we're praying for God's clear leading. Another adventure awaits us...

Another Dog?

Well, we were officially chosen to adopt another dog from Lab Rescue. We got Rocky from this organization and have been very happy with our new addition over the years. The kids and I thought it would be nice to get another dog for Rocky to have a playmate. We are supposed to be introduced tomorrow night to Chauncey, a chocolate lab, 1.5 years old, who has been in a "foster home" and has had all his shots, is house broken, and looks adorable.

Todd and I had prayed a lot before getting Rocky. We wanted to get a dog for Winter, who had a very difficult first year of life. When she was almost two, we got Rocky, and he immediately became a lovable part of our family. Rocky has been loyal and protective over the years. I will never forget how he laid by Todd's bed when he was so sick, and followed him everywhere. He stayed very close to him...all the way to the end. He still looks for Todd at times.

So, what about a new dog? Two dogs? There's a part of us that is so excited to have something new. We seem to be in such a rut. There's another part that says, "What are you doing??" The practical side says this is INSANE. The adventurous side says this is going to be GREAT!

....praying for God's leading yet again. I wonder what Todd thinks of this?

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

I'm sure this holiday holds many special memories for all of us. Perhaps it was picnics in the park with your family, going to fireworks at night, heading down to the beach....whatever it is, this summer holiday holds special memories. On this day, as we remember our freedoms and especially those who have fought so hard to keep them, let us also remember to thank God for it all.

Today I'm thanking Him for our nation's freedom and great heritage,
thanking Him for all of our service men and women who sacrificed all for us,
thanking Him for the Armed Forces fighting today for our freedom, and
thanking Him for all the precious, precious memories this Independence Day holds for all of us.

Wishing everyone a very Happy Fourth of July!

Memories Last Forever

Today I saw two friends from the past who I hadn't seen for years. It still feels strange to see them continue on with their lives, when things are so different for me since I last saw them. It's difficult to describe. Life goes on, and pretty "normally" for most people. Sometimes I want to scream, "Todd died! Does anyone remember or care?" I know they do, but life seems so normal for them.

It was pretty awesome, however, to hear our former neighbor talking about her two year old twin boys, and saying how she remembered Todd doing things with our boys (she was a teen and spent a lot of time with us at the condo, our first home) and teaching them different things, and how she was doing the same things with her boys now. That was pretty amazing. You never realize what an impression you have on people. Obviously Todd made a big impression on her, and I'm sure countless others.

As life continues on for everyone, I have to realize that mine will never be the same as it was. Accepting the new "normal" is not easy. I'm thankful for Todd. I'm thankful for the lasting memories. I'm so glad he was a part of our lives. I think I will always miss him, but I'm trying to accept life as God has it for me now. Not easy, but God's grace is sufficient.

Clear Day For "Launching" Balloons!

My precious 5 year old made a card for Daddy on Father's Day. She asked me, "Can we send this up to Daddy with balloons, or should I wait until he comes back in the clouds with Jesus to give it to him?" How does a Mom answer that one?

We decided to send her card up with balloons, but Sunday was cloudy and rainy. She told me we couldn't send her card up that day, "because the rain will make the balloons come back down."

So, early Monday morning, a very excited little girl woke up yelling, "It's sunny! Look at the sun! We can send Daddy's card up today!" So we did...

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you wonderful fathers out there. Found some pictures yesterday that I wanted to share of one of the best Dad's ever...