I wanted to share just one of those moments where my whole insides feel like they are being ripped out. Today it was when Trina was getting Rocky all excited when Nathan came home from work. Nathan was driving Todd's van, and I have to admit, the sound of the engine coming up the hill still gives me chills. I loved when Todd came home. Anyway, Trina, trying to get the dog excited, succeeded in yelling, "Daddy's home!" Rocky ran to the front door, then to the back, then whined, then began barking...as Trina would repeat this over and over. (this had been a common scene in our home) We were all watching and laughing, until the Tobster came running down the hall and asked in an excited voice, "Our Daddy is home?" I keep hearing that sweet little voice over and over tonight. Oh, if only it had been Daddy coming home.
Everything hurts again. Christmas is only two days away. Todd's birthday is only two days away. I'm so tired of people wishing me a Merry Christmas. Merry? I try, for the kids, but I don't feel at all "merry" these days.
Thanks again to everyone for the prayers. God knows I need them so much. I feel like I'm losing my grip here, but God continues to be good. God continues to provide strength. Thank you, Father. Where would I be without Him? I don't like to think about it.
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